As you know I’m not much of a drinker. A genetic mutation causes my body to process alcohol as if it were poison. Don’t get me wrong, it doesn’t stop me when I’m out at an event, a dinner, or when friends are in town, there are times when cocktails are needed or in this case, wanted.

Citrus season is in full bloom here in Texas. Grapefruits, clementines, oranges, lemons and limes are flowing in by the truckloads and naturally the aromas are a playful awakening to the palate. I thought this cocktail would be the perfect celebration for Chinese New Year — the deep red from the sensuously bitter Campari, a sweet bite from the Hendrick’s, finished by the intoxicating aromas of grapefruit —  it’s meant to be sipped opposed to gulped.

This year we celebrate The Year of the Dragon — the only mythical creature out of the 12 signs. It is believed that the dragon possess great power and may even have magical control over the weather and water. We’ll be celebrating with Nian-Gao (Rice Cakes) and Hot Pot tonight as my brother in law was born in this year — Go Carter! I managed to give the house a good scrub to make sure we start off the year free of spirits.

I called my mom today and could barely hear her over the fireworks that were exploding outside her window in Shanghai. Hopefully one year I’ll be able to experience the excitement but for now, I’m more than complacent with my Grapefruit Negroni.  Thank you Esquire for the recipe.

With that in mind, we must be sure to celebrate her marvel and grace that is America.  Raise your glasses this year and celebrate your patriotism to the US of A — be loud and be proud for being an American no matter what race, color, or religion and make a vow to be the best citizen you can be.  What we have here is beautiful and we should always take the time to cherish and appreciate what our founding fathers have done for us.  I hope you enjoyed that Independence Day PSA, I felt really patriotic after watching Team America last night: I am officially ramped up for this weekend.

I love the wholesomeness of this recipe — just 3 simple ingredients: fresh berries, fat free Greek yogurt and raw honey.  It truly is simplicity at its finest.  Since Greek yogurt has a thicker and creamier consistency and flavor than regular yogurts, these popsicles taste absolutely decadent without the guilt.  Using honey as a natural sweetener, it adds a nice floral body to the yogurt and brings out the sweetness of the berries even further.

Even better, we came home to an exploding garden! Everything literally tripled in size while we were gone — the beans, the tomatoes, my wildflowers. We instilled life back into this little yard, it’s now filled with ladybugs, butterflies, bees Oh My! The Wells farm is up and kickin, we’re keeping our fingers crossed for a bountiful harvest.

I made this salad tonight using vegetables from my dad’s garden and basil, waxbeans and flowers from ours.  I never thought to use flowers in food but since starting our growing frenzy, I’ve managed to taste practically everything. And arugula, onion and bok choy flowers are on my list of top finds — they are fantastic and give little bursts of flavors throughout the salad.  This recipe is a glorious celebration of everything life: from seed to flower to fruit, repeat.

Our European honeymoon has been a great success — Wells and I have bounced around Europe: Brussels, Amsterdam, Cologne, Munich, Basel, Gimmelwald, Milan and Florence.  We’re finally winding down towards the end of our trip and finishing it off with the Amalfi Coast and Rome.  Just because I’m half-way around the world, you didn’t think I’d be able to stay away too long did you?  Good thing I have beautifully talented friends to cover for me while I’m gone.

Today I’d like to introduce a new friend, Linda Wagner.  Linda is an experienced and skilled Nutrition and Lifestyle Coach who utilizes a holistic methodology to invigorate the mind, body, and spirit.  It is her passion to assist others in achieving their true, unlimited potential.  I was initially drawn to Linda by her peaceful and happy spirit and her blog is filled with great information and mantras to live by to lead a healthy, blissful and fulfilling life.  So without further ado, I introduce to you the lovely Linda with her Sake Champagne Mojito.

That’s right, I said Sake Champagne Mojito and you’re gonna love it!! This is an absolutely smooth and delicious cocktail adapted from Pure Food & Wine in NYC.  It is THE PERFECT summer cocktail and a guaranteed hit when entertaining!  You may want to make this gorgeous cocktail for your mama this Sunday, what a lovely Mother’s Day treat!!

You know me, I always modify my recipes to make them as healthy as possible so this recipe is sugar free. I’ve also provided an alcohol free version for the kiddos and anyone looking for a fun cocktail without the hooch!

You’ll need:

• 1 bottle Sake
• 1 bottle Extra Dry Champagne
• 1 large bunch mint leaves
• juice of 3-4 limes
• 6-10 droppers full of Liquid Stevia (more or less to taste)

First, tear the mint leaves off the stem. In a large pitcher, use the back of a wooden spoon to muddle the mint leaves, stevia, and lime juice. Then add the entire bottle of Sake and entire bottle of Champagne. Stir the mixture and serve over lots of ice in rocks glasses or mason jars.

If you’re not drinking, go for an alcohol free version by simply substituting sparkling mineral water for the sake and champagne.  It’s absolutely delicious and will make you feel like a million bucks every time you take a sip!

Even if you don’t give a hoot about health, you and your friends will still enjoy this delicious drink. This is my “go to” cocktail for parties. It’s a summer classic with an exotic and healthy twist!

I say this all the time but so many people tell me they don’t like Stevia. I didn’t like Stevia either but that’s because I wasn’t using the right kind!! If you’re looking for a great tasting Stevia that actually tastes like sugar and not like aspartame, NuNaturals is a MUST!! I always order my mine through iherb.com they have NuNaturals stevia in liquid, powder, packets and an assortment of flavors along with a wide variety of other health & beauty products and supplements. Feel free to use my discount code WAG472 to get $5 off your first order 

If you enjoy easy recipes and are interested in learning more, please subscribe to this blog, follow me on twitter, LOVE me on facebook, or shoot me an email!

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In the spirit of Easter I’m featuring a great lamb recipe over at Artizone.  We used Martha Stewart’s recipe for inspiration for both the lamb and the couscous.  I love the bright green color and flavors for this dish, it just screams “ALAS! Spring is here!!”

We only have about a week left before Wells and I embark on our Epic European Adventure 2011 and my excitement is in full force.  However, I somehow let Wells convince me that backpacking would be the way to go, that is until I saw the size of my bag — ” UHM…I can only fit like 2 pairs of shoes in there, like max.” “Yes that’s the point — your tennis shoes, flip flops and one pair of heels, the end.”  Obviously he’s forgotten who he’s about to marry because being the shoe addict that I am that was by far the silliest request I’ve ever heard.  A few pouts and whines later I convinced him to share half of his bag with me, bringing my total shoe count to now 5 pairs of shoes (He knows in the long run it’d be better for both of our sanities ).

Time has been kicking my butt lately and I’ve barely been able to find time to cook, hence the recent shortage of recipes.  With Easter right around the corner I wanted to prep a dish that was simple, light but flavorful.  I love lamb because it’s easy to make, satisfying to the soul and the bold flavors of the meat can leave you happily satisfied through just a couple chops.  I’m lucky to live in Dallas and be able to have services like Artizone available to me.  They are a newly launched grocery delivery service that offers products from the top culinary artisans in Dallas.  Head on over to the Artizone blog to find how to make the lamb recipe with complete pictures that show step-by-step instructions.  Don’t forget to browse through all the other artisan goodies while you’re there, I highly recommend the Triple Chocolate Truffle Cake from La Duni.

I am also digging this couscous recipe, originally the recipe called for quinoa but since I didn’t have that readily available I simple found the next best substitute — couscous!  I blanched some asparagus and together these sides paired perfectly with the hearty chops.  It’s the perfect dish to serve to health-conscious guests or any guests with diabetic issues as it is rich in magnesium, selenium and fiber and low in fat and cholesterol.

Ingredients for Quinoa, Pea and Mint Salad (serves 4)

Prep Time: 10 minutes Total Cooking Time: 30 minutes

• 2 cups chicken stock
• 1 cup couscous, rinsed
• 1 cup shelled green peas or frozen peas
• coarse salt and freshly ground pepper
• 3 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
• 3 tablespoons fresh mint leaves, torn if large

Bring stock and quinoa to a boil in a 2-quart saucepan.  Reduce heat ot a simmer; cover and cook 10 minutes, then add peas.  Cook until quinoa is tender but still chewy and has absorbed the liquid, about 5 minutes more.  Remove from heat, and let stand, covered, 5 minutes.

Season with salt and pepper, then stir in the oil . Transfer to a serving bowl and let cool slightly (about 5 minutes) before gently stirring in the mint.  Serve salad warm or at room temperature.

I was daddy’s little girl growing up.  I was his constant shadow — anything he did, I’d do, anywhere he went I’d follow.  He’d tell me stories of his past, about that far away place I knew so little about.  “I was only 17 when I went away to work on the farms…we’d have little to eat…there’d be snakes in the bed…” I’d listen to his tales with fear imagining giant cobras lurking beneath his bed.  My eyes widened.

“You see here?” He’d point to a deeply embedded scar on his leg — “I got these from leeches.  I’d work in the rice fields all day long and there’d be thousands of leeches everywhere.” I touched the deep grooves around his shins.  “Do they still hurt?” “Sometimes.” He’d say.

I could see the ghosts lingering within him, though however dark his past may have seemed he always kept his knack for gardening.  After 7 years of working on a farm, it becomes part of you; a part that you try so hard to forget yet at the same time you can’t let it go.  After moving into our first home in America that was one of the first things he did: start a garden.  Together we’d clear the grass, break up the dirt, till the soil and plant the seeds.  I admit, I was mostly in charge of fetching glasses of water and picking out the grubs and squishing them with my shovel but it quickly became something I’d look forward to doing with dad every season.

He’d plant all sorts of things: squashes, wintermelon, cucumbers, peas, mustard greens — he would take fish carcasses and let them ferment in the sun.  Once the mixture was putrid and broken down, he’d mix it in with the soil.  It horrified me, as I screamed and held my nose tightly every time he pulled the “magical” mixture out.  We harvested a 38 pound wintermelon that year.

My father had the ultimate green thumb, there was no doubt about it.  Each year our harvest would be so full and bountiful we’d often give most of it away because there was no way in hell we’d be able to eat it all.  So it was only natural for me to carry on my dad’s green thumb by making helping Collin start a garden in our first home.  To be honest, my thumb is anything but green.  Collin actually calls it my black thumb since I tend to kill all plants I buy.  (It often makes me question my abilities of becoming a good mother but we’ll save that for another day.)  The point is, I found two veggies that seem to be fool proof: Radishes and Salad Greens.  I literally threw seeds in the ground, kept them well watered and BAM!  Six weeks later, I have freshly grown vegetables: (Wells) Farm to table.

I paired the radish and arugula with some tangy and creamy herbed goat cheese, coarse kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper on top of a crunchy wheat crostini – fresh simplicity at its finest.  What plants seem to grow well in your gardens?

Ingredients for Radish Arugula Goat Cheese Crostinis

(Serves 2-4; Total Prep Time: 10 minutes Total Cooking Time: 10 minutes)

• 6 Cherry Bell or English Breakfast Radish, thinly sliced
• 1/2 cup fresh Arugula
• 4 oz herbed goat cheese
• 4 slices wheat bread, toasted and cut into 2″ circles (about 2 circles a slice for a total of
• coarse kosher salt and pepper

To assemble crostinis, spread about a nickle sized dollop on each crostini.  Top with a couple slices of radish, arugula and sprinkle with a pinch of kosher salt and pepper.  Serve immediately or refrigerate until ready to serve.

Made from rice paper and rice noodles, this recipe is gluten-free and serves as a perfect appetizer or snack for any occasion.  Pair it with a spicy peanut sauce and it will be guaranteed a hot item with any crowd.  Save yourself the work and ask guests to roll their own, the best part is that any mistakes can be quickly eaten.

Feel free to substitute the shrimp for bbq chicken, avocado, jicama – let your imagination create new and exciting flavor combinations.  These spring rolls are best eaten the day they are made but can also be covered with saran wrap and eaten the next day.

Recipe for Vietnamese Shrimp Spring Rolls

• 2 ounces rice vermicelli (60 mL)
• 8 rice wrappers (8.5 inch diameter)
• 8 large cooked shrimp – peeled, deveined and cut in half
• 1 1/3 tablespoons chopped fresh Thai basil (20 mL)
• 3 tablespoons chopped fresh mint leaves (45 mL)
• 3 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro (45 mL)
• 2 leaves lettuce, chopped

Soak vermicelli in cold water until soft.  Bring a medium pot of water to a boil and cook vermicelli for 2-3 minutes, or until al dente.  Drain and rinse with cold water.

Fill a large bowl with warm water.  Dip one wrapper into the hot water for a second and lay the wrapper on a flat surface.  In a raw across the center, place 3 shrimp halves down and top with vermicelli, basil, mint, cilantro and lettuce – leaving about 2 inches on each side.  Fold the uncovered sides inward and roll the wrapper tightly.  Serve with Spicy Peanut Sauce.

Spicy Peanut Sauce

• ½ cup peanut butter (120 mL)
• 2 tablespoons water (30 mL)
• 1 tablespoon hoisin (15 mL)
• 1 teaspoon Sriracha (5 mL)
• Handful of peanuts, crushed

Mix peanut butter and water together until thoroughly mixed.  Add more water (1 teaspoon at a time) if the consistency is too thick.  Stir in hoisin and Sriracha and top with crushed peanuts. Serve with spring rolls.

Exciting news — I am now a contributor at Honest Cooking which is a new international online culinary magazine with the ambition to truly change the face of online food media.  They feature over 50 of the world’s most interesting food and beverage writers, bloggers, photographers and Chefs and I was fortunate enough to be selected as one of them!  Honest cooking aims to become the leading and most inspiring place for serious culinary debate, salivating recipes, interesting food news and international food-fun. You can also check out my recipe for these Spring Rolls over at Honest Cooking!

One of the many reasons why I fell in love with Collin was for his Superman abilities.  Whenever my computer crashed, BAM it’s fixed.  Whenever I couldn’t move that stupid heavy box, POOF he lifts it with one hand.  Even that one time when my heel got stuck in the crack of the sidewalk and my face was about to meet the pavement of death, like magic he not only pulls me back but frees my heel at the same time in the process.  I realize I’d never want to ever lose my hero, honestly, what would I do?  With that being said, although 99% of the time Collin is indestructible, like every Superman, he has his kryptonite: desserts.

Let’s start with a simple equation: Collin + Desserts = Epic Domination.  If I bake a pie and he sees it, within a couple hours it’ll be gone.  There have been instances at our dinner parties where he’ll even hoard a few portions of desserts for later, when after the guests leave.  Recently he’s been so good at sneaking my baked goods that I don’t realize anything is missing, until I pull the pan out of the oven.  The point is the man has no self-control when it comes to desserts, and he simply cannot stop.  When I make dessert recipes for the blog and you wonder “Wow who gets to eat that?”  The answer is Collin; he eats all of it, that night usually.

As a result of his bad boy behaviors, consequently his waist line suffers and then that leads to frustration towards me.  “I was SO hot before I met you, remember when I had a six-pack and some monster biceps??!!  Now look at me!  YOU DID THIS TO ME, STOP MAKING DESSERTS!!!”  He’s right.  I did.  I did do that to him.  But I didn’t mean to!  Desserts are evil, the only way they’re good is if they’re packed full of cream, eggs, sugar and butter.  How can the best things in life be so bad for us?  WHY IS THE WORLD PACKED FULL OF CONTRADICTORY SITUATIONS?

So this year I’ve been on a mission.  I realize to keep my Superman around I have to keep him healthy and in good shape.  However, it’s impossible to say I won’t make any desserts, life is too short for that but I can try to find dessert recipes that won’t give you a third ass.  This is one of them.

I finally found the ultimate vegan dessert recipe.  For all you vegan haters, hey I feel you – I was on that boat of “Uhm vegan dessert?  Those two words don’t ever go together.”  But this recipe changed my mind.  After trying a couple vegan cake recipes, I found this to be the best one.  The addition of the coffee along with the Valrona cocoa makes this cake moist, rich and delicious.  For the filling I used all natural peanut butter and sweetened it with some raw honey.  It is important that you opt for all-natural peanut butter; it contains monosaturated fats that are good for lowering LDL cholesterol as well as a good source of protein.  When you buy regular peanut butter, it usually contains high levels of hydrogenated fats (bad fats), preservatives, sugar and salt – save yourself go natural.  The banana ice cream is just frozen bananas blended – due to the low liquid content in bananas, when blended it turns into this creamy, milky texture.  It’s so easy to make and it tastes incredible, the more ripe the bananas the sweeter your ice cream (I wouldn’t recommend using bananas that don’t have brown spots on them)! Top it off with some cocoa nibs and cocoa powder for that nice earthy touch and I promise you’ll forget its even vegan.

Recipe for Chocolate Vegan Cake with Vegan Banana Ice Cream:

<Print Recipe Here>

Banana Ice Cream (makes about 3 cups)

• 3 very ripe bananas, frozen
• 1 Tablespoon soymilk (optional)

Using a blender or hand-held immersion blender, blend the bananas into a smooth paste.  If it feels a little thick, feel free to add the soymilk.  Place in a medium glass container and freeze for 30 minutes or more before using.

Vegan Chocolate Cupcakes (8-10 cupcakes)

• 1 1/4 cups flour
• 1 cup sugar
• 1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder, I highly recommend you using Valrhona (yes it makes all the difference in the world)
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• ½ teaspoon salt
• ½ cup warm water
• ½ cup brewed coffee
• 1/3 cup vegetable oil
• 1 teaspoon distilled vinegar

—————————————————————————–

• 1 ½ cups all-natural peanut butter, room temperature
• ½ cup honey
• Cocoa nibs and cocoa powder for garnish

Mix peanut butter and honey together in a bowl until combined.  Set aside until ready to use.

If you’re interested in making the candied hazelnuts you can find the manual over at Martha Stewart.

Preheat oven at 350F.

In a large bowl mix the flour, sugar, cocoa powder, baking soda and salt together until well incorporated.  Add water, coffee, oil and vinegar into dry mixture, mix until fully blended.  Fill muffin pan with liners and fill with batter ¾ the way full.  Bake in oven for 22-25 minutes, or until a toothpick comes out clean.  Place on rack to cool.  Using a paring knife or tiny circular pastry cutter (1”-1.25”) cut out a hole in the center of each cupcake for the peanut butter filling.

Take banana ice cream out and set aside.  Fill each cupcake with peanut butter mixture up to the top and scoop banana ice cream on top.  Garnish with cocoa nibs and cocoa powder.  Serve immediately and eat often.

*** If you feel this dessert needs to be sweeter, simply add more honey on top!

(p.s. I know “technically” honey is not vegan so feel free to use agave as a substitute.)

My very first professional cooking job was at one of the top French restaurants in Tucson, Arizona.  It took me over two weeks and hundreds of applications before I was finally able to convince one of the head chefs to consider me for the position of Chef de Partie.  He was weary of taking me under his wing –

“You?  Girl?  You want to work in the kitchen?  This is no joke, it’s very hard work, are you sure you can handle it?”

“Yes Chef, I will not disappoint.”

Mind you, after 95% of the restaurants I applied to turned me down, having a top restaurant to even consider me for a position with absolutely no professional kitchen experience is what I call pure luck. He did not say yes right away however, but I was determined. That day, I went out and purchased the Jacque Pepin’s Complete Techniques and made the best damn Tarte Tartin my little heart could put out, sent him a slice attached with a note.  He finally considered my plea.

“Ok. Be here tomorrow morning at 6 am.”

So begins my journey through a real professional kitchen.

I show up bright and early and stepped foot into the small 10’ x 12’ kitchen, it was literally big (small) enough to fit 4 people snugly.  At the end of the table I see Chef kneading the dough for the fresh baguettes they make for dinner service, without even looking up from the task he points to the walk-in cooler –

“Grab 10 heads of lettuce and start prepping the salad station.”

It took me an hour and half to prep that station that day, Chef later informed me it needs to be done in 30.  Every single morning for 6 months (except Mondays) I met with the Chef and worked closely by his side – chopping, filleting, frying, sautéing.  I learned everything I had ever dreamed of and more: how to make the perfect pastry cream, pate chox, and the most beautifully risen soufflés.  I even learned how to properly fillet, tie and wrap a beef wellington, tips on how to never over cook fish, and how to keep your béarnaise sauce from breaking.

But my favorite recipes I remember to this day weren’t really so much the Classical French recipes I had learned (Don’t get me wrong, I loved every minute of it) but the traditional Mexican salsas and breakfasts Chef would make for me each morning.  Oh, did I forget to mention the head chef wasn’t French?  Yes, about that, everyone that worked in the kitchen was from Spanish speaking origins except me — Chinita Loca was my nickname: the Crazy Chinese Girl.

By the end of my stint in the restaurant kitchen my Spanish was superb, I was able to work 14 hour shifts without crying afterwards from being so damn tired, and I had enough burns and cuts all over my arms to be considered a “bad ass.”  Okay not really, but it was intense – by far the most vigorous working experience of my life both physically and mentally.  I wouldn’t have made it through those hard days without Chef by my side egging me on, pushing me to achieve my best.

One weekend I had worked two 14-hour shifts in a row, I was near exhaustion to the point where I felt delirious.  The kitchen was a blistering 114F during the summer and I was convinced I was going to die, every single muscle in my body hurt not to mention the idiotic two 2^nd degree burns I had on my arms because I dropped the pan of baguettes that morning.  I slumped over the counter and rested my head on my arms, hoping to take a short break before the dinner rush.

“CHINITA LOCA!  WAKE UP!”  Chef shook my arm and popped me across the head with a dish rag – he slid me a heaping plate of freshly fried tortilla chips and some ceviche he had whipped up out of the blue.  “Here, eat.”  I sluggishly scooted towards the plate as he shoved a heaping chipful of ceviche into my mouth.  My eyes widened: it was glorious – the sweetness of the shrimp paired with the tangy brightness of fresh lime and cilantro, instantly I felt my mood elevated.  It was like a punch in the mouth, but in a good way, a happy way, a reenergizing way.  I smiled warmly – “Thanks Chef, this was awesome.” “Of course Chinita! I made it!  Now go prep your salad station.”

I prepped my station in 30 minutes that day, the first time since working there.  I’m convinced it was Chef’s ceviche that made it happen. He taught me speed, accuracy, timing.  He taught me the importance of planning, execution and presentation. He taught me no matter how different we may be from each other, at the end of the day we’re all the same: we cook because we connect, we cook because we love, we cook because we inspire. Thank you Chef for inspiring me and I hope this recipe will inspire you.  You can use just about any combination of seafood for ceviche: shrimp, various fish, scallop, lobster.  For this recipe I chose shrimp and grilled red fish and paired it with an avocado mango salsa– a nice contrast between textures and flavors this would be a great appetizer for a dinner party or bbq that’s quick, healthy, easy and delicious.

Ingredients for Grilled Red Fish and Shrimp Ceviche (serves 6-8):

Prep Time: 20 minutes; Total Cooking Time: 60 minutes

• 1 red fish fillet (about 1 pound)
• 2 teaspoons Seasoned Salt
• 1 pound medium shrimp, peeled and deveined
• 1/2 cup plus 2 tablespoons fresh lime juice
• 1 teaspoon honey
• 1 to 2 tablespoons Tabasco
• 1/3 cup chopped fresh cilantro, plus several sprigs for garnish
• 1 cup diced mango
• ½ cup red cherry tomatoes
• ½ cup yellow cherry tomatoes
• 1 large avocado, peeled, pitted and cubed
• Kosher salt
• Freshly ground black pepper
• Several limes for garnish
• Tortilla chips

Prep the grill.

Pat fillet dry with paper towel and evenly coat with seasoned salt.  Place red fish fillet in a wire fish basket or a buttered foil packet.  Place in the center of grill for 15 minutes then flip and cook for an additional 10 minutes.  Set aside and allow to cool.  To make sure fish is fully cooked, the meat will be white and easily pierced with a fork.

While fish is cooking on grill bring a quart of water to a boil.  Place shrimp in the hot water, cover and let the water return to boil.  Immediately remove from heat and strain and run under cold water until cooled.  In a large bowl mix ½ the lime juice, honey and Tabasco and mix with shrimp.  Refrigerate for about an hour.

Meanwhile prep the salsa.  Mix chopped cilantro, mango, tomatoes, avocado and remainder of the lime juice in a medium bowl.  Season with salt and pepper and refrigerate until ready to serve.

You can either serve ceviche in small glass cups or martini glasses for an extra touch of elegance.  Layer with salsa, shrimp and grilled red fish and garnish with cilantro, shrimp or lime wedge and immediately serve with tortilla chips.

Growing up, my relationship with my mother was far from harmonious.  We seemed to clash about everything: anything from curfew, clothes to taking summer school, piano – and oh yes, food.  From a young age I’d remember my mother telling me “You cannot eat candy or potato chips, they are bad for you and make you fat.”  So what would I do?  That’s right.  Eat candy and potato chips behind her back.

She was always nervous about my weight – I am a rather big-boned girl for an Asian but while I learned to embrace it, it completely geeked my mom out.  “You must watch what you eat, you big bone you get fat.” As she would scoot the fried dish away from me and smoothly replaced it with something steamed or boiled – “See, you mostly eat this and not that.”

I’d hate her for it.  I wanted to eat what I wanted, when I wanted without the pestering voice over my shoulder asking “SHOULD YOU EAT THIS XIN-XIN?”  Damn it, yes I should!  So from as early as I can remember until I was 18, my mom controlled nearly every meal I ate except for the occasional outing with friends and family.  She made sure I ate mostly vegetables that were both low in oil and flavor, we never had juices or sodas, and pizza night?  Forget about it, I never even experienced “delivery food” until my first sleepover in 3^rd grade.  It drove me crazy and as I reached adolescence I started to take her pestering personally and began the downhill cycle of an eating disorder.

A lot of things were going on back then; my parents were fighting, I was still trying to figure out where I fit in at school, oh and the whole awkward puberty thing didn’t make matters any better.  My mother’s pestering soon became hurtful and her once “suggestions” became “attacks” to me – the only words I heard were “You’re fat.”   Combine that with the influx of magazines I’d read with the gorgeous leggy models and soon enough it became true: I’m fat.

I obsessed over every little thing I ate, or lack thereof.  I desperately wanted to be a size where my mom wouldn’t give me suggestions anymore – week after week, pound after pound, and before I knew it I was struggling to keep a pair of size 0 jeans on.  It’s the lightest I’ve ever weighed: 103.5 pounds yet it had to be one of the lowest points in my life.  I didn’t feel good, look good and was constantly tired.

I couldn’t take it anymore.  I went into my mom’s room one night and screamed “I’ll never be good enough for you! No matter what I do it’s never good enough.  You think I’m stupid, you think I’m fat! WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?”  She looked so confused – “When I say you stupid?  When I say you fat?”  I didn’t realize it at the time but she really didn’t say those things, or mean them rather.  But her reaction made me angry; I couldn’t believe she didn’t know what I was talking about.  I left it at that.  I eventually got over trying to please her and with the help of friends I eventually maintained a weight of 130 pounds by the end of my senior year in high school.

Going to college away from home was a huge milestone for me.  It forced me to make my own decisions without the constant watchful eyes of my parents.  Most importantly I was free to eat what I wanted, when I wanted, wherever I wanted.  Think of it like a kid and his very first time at a candy store – I didn’t even know how to handle it.  Late night snacks at 2 am, breakfast and lunch buffets at the cafeteria, deliveries to your dorm room, my mother would’ve been appalled.

By sophomore year, I had gained a whopping 35 pounds — my mother’s worst nightmare had come true.  I was officially fat.  What the hell?  How did it happen so fast?  Just yesterday I was fitting into my size 4 jeans and looking fabulous and suddenly I find myself trying to hide my muffin top as best as I could under the fold of my size 10 pants.  Freaking lame, all the pesky suggestions I use to hate hearing from my mother were suddenly ringing in my head again – “Do not eat those fried things!  Oh tsk tsk, fast food Sooooo bad for you.”  Okay mother, you win.

It wasn’t until I went back home to visit her a couple years ago when I finally understood why she always pestered me.  By then, I’ve reached a comfortable weight of 135, worked out 4-5 times a week and ate a healthy balanced diet with the occasional treat.  For the first time in my life she said “Xin-xin, you look good.  Mommy no worry about you anymore, you take care of yourself.”  I lifted my shirt to show her my abs – “What do you think of those apples ma?”  She shook her head and laughed.  She sat down next to a box of pictures she was organizing “Sit down, I show you something.”

She handed me a thin, worn down tiny album – I opened it and gasped: there I saw my mom, FAT.  Mind you, my mom has maintained her weight of 130-133 pounds from age 30 to 55.  She has never fluctuated outside of that range in 25 years.  THAT my friend is called magic.

“You see why mommy always worry about you now?”

I couldn’t help it, I had to laugh “Mom, you can’t even see your eyes.”

“I KNOW!  I so fat back then, I embarrassing. I don’t even like to show these pictures, soooo ugly.”

I smiled and kissed her – “You’re not ugly mom, you’re beautiful.”

“NOOOooo…” She giggled as she playfully pushed me away – “But seriously!  You see why I tell you you cannot get fat???”

It all made sense now.  She just didn’t want her daughter to be her old chubby shadow, why didn’t she just say so?  In every dark cloud there’s a silver lining, without this experience I would’ve never learned to be creative when it came to cooking healthy.  I would’ve never learned to allow myself to eat what I wanted in moderation.  I would’ve never learned the negative effects of being underweight and overweight.  Most importantly I would’ve never learned to just love my body for what it is: big boned, curvy, beautiful.  So what if I’m not “petite” like the other Asian girls?  So what if my arms are kinda big?  I can still strut my stuff like Beyonce in some 4-inch heels any night and feel just as sexy as Adriana Lima (of course with the help of my Victoria’s Secret Miracle Bra!).

Embrace your body for what it is, love yourself because you’re fabulous, and if you want a piece of chocolate cake at the end of a long hard work day, treat yourself — but to a small piece instead of the whole dang cake.  I love this Strawberry Lassi because it’s not as decadent as a strawberry milkshake, but just as satisfying.  The tartness of the yogurt immersed with the floral cardamom notes and fresh strawberries, makes this the perfect, healthy drink to welcome the simply beautiful Spring weather we’ve been having here in Texas.  So enjoy this recipe, sit back and relax and think about the importance of living a healthy life through food, exercise and spirit.   You only have one life to live, let’s make it a good one.

Ingredients for Strawberry Lassi (serves 4-6):

Prep Time: 10 minutes; Total Cooking Time: 10 Minutes

• 1 lb fresh strawberries, trimmed and halved (3 1/2 cups)
• 1/2 cup honey
• 1/2 teaspoon ground cardamom
• 2 cups plain yogurt (whole-milk or low-fat)
• 1 1/4 cup ice cubes